top of page
Therapy questions
Starting therapy can raise a number of questions, particularly if you have not experienced therapy before.
Below are some of the questions I am most commonly asked about therapy, my approach and what you can expect from the process.
If your question isn't answered here, please feel free to get in touch.
Frequently asked questions
About Therapy
The first few sessions are an opportunity for us to begin understanding what has brought you to therapy and what you are hoping to gain from it.The first few sessions may involve more questions than later sessions, as I take time to understand your current difficulties, your experiences and what you would like support with. I may also take notes during these sessions to help me keep track of the information you share and develop a clearer understanding of how best to work with you.We may talk about the difficulties you are currently experiencing, but we can also begin to explore your experiences more broadly and how you understand yourself and what is happening in your life.The first few sessions are also an opportunity for you to get a sense of what therapy with me is like and whether you feel comfortable working together. There is no expectation that you will have everything worked out or know exactly what you need from therapy before we begin.
No. You do not need to have a clear explanation for what is happening before coming to therapy.Sometimes people know that they are struggling but are unsure why. At other times, there may be a particular difficulty that has brought them to therapy, while they also have a sense that there may be more to it.Part of therapy can be developing a clearer understanding of what you are experiencing and why. We can explore this together rather than you needing to have the answers before you start.
No. You do not need to prepare a list of things to discuss before each session.Therapy is a process of exploration, and what is important to talk about may not always be immediately obvious. We can pay attention to what is happening for you and explore the thoughts, feelings and experiences that arise.Over time, this can help us develop a better understanding of what may be important to you and what may be contributing to your difficulties.
This is very common. You do not need to be good at talking about your feelings to begin therapy.Some people have spent a long time trying to manage difficult emotions, keep them to themselves or avoid thinking about certain experiences. Others may simply have never had the opportunity to explore their feelings in this way.You do not need to be able to explain everything immediately. Developing the ability to recognise and talk about what you are experiencing can itself become part of the therapeutic work.
Each session lasts 50 minutes, there is no fixed number of sessions that applies to everyone.Some people come to therapy with a specific difficulty they want to address, while others are looking for a deeper exploration of themselves and patterns that have developed over time. This can be anything from 12 weeks to 5 years or more.I do not see therapy simply as a process of identifying a problem and providing a quick solution. Meaningful change can take time, particularly when we are exploring longstanding patterns, feelings and ways of relating to ourselves and others.The length of therapy can therefore vary depending on your circumstances, what you are hoping to achieve and what develops through the therapeutic process.
I have found regular weekly sessions can provide continuity and allow the therapeutic work to develop over time. The frequency of sessions can be reduced as we work towards an ending. We can discuss this when you begin therapy and review it as the work develops.
Confidentiality is an important part of creating a space where you can speak openly and honestly.What you discuss in therapy is treated as confidential, subject to the usual professional and legal limits of confidentiality. These limits are there to protect you and others where there is a serious concern about safety or where disclosure is otherwise required by law.Any questions you have about confidentiality can be discussed at the beginning of therapy.
My Approach
My approach is centred on exploring your feelings, experiences and the ways in which you understand yourself and relate to the world around you.Rather than focusing only on the immediate problem or symptoms you are experiencing, I am interested in developing a deeper understanding of what may be contributing to your difficulties.This can involve exploring patterns that have developed over time, how you respond emotionally to situations and relationships, and the experiences that may have influenced the way you see yourself and others.The aim is to develop a greater understanding of yourself, rather than simply finding ways to manage difficulties in the short term.
The difficulties and symptoms that bring you to therapy are important, and we will take them seriously.However, I do not see them as the whole picture. It can be useful to look beyond what is happening on the surface and explore what may be underlying or contributing to your difficulties.For example, if you repeatedly experience anxiety, conflict in relationships or feelings of low self-worth, therapy can explore not only how to manage those experiences but also why these patterns may have developed and continue to affect you.
Deeper self-awareness involves developing a clearer understanding of your own feelings, thoughts, expectations and ways of responding.It can mean beginning to recognise patterns that you may not have previously noticed, understanding why particular situations affect you strongly, and becoming more aware of how you relate to other people.This is not about blaming yourself for your difficulties or suggesting that everything is your responsibility. It is about developing a fuller understanding of yourself and your experiences.
Therapy is not primarily about being given advice or being told what you should do.There may be times when it is useful to consider different ways of approaching a situation, but my role is not to make decisions on your behalf.Instead, therapy provides an opportunity to explore what you are experiencing and develop your own understanding. This can help you make decisions with greater awareness and a clearer sense of what is right for you.
Some difficulties can benefit from a relatively focused form of support, particularly when there is a specific issue that needs addressing.However, if you want to understand longstanding patterns, relationships or difficulties that have developed over many years, meaningful change may require more time.Therapy is not simply about addressing what is happening today. It can also involve understanding how you have arrived at this point and what continues to maintain particular patterns in your life.The pace and length of therapy will therefore depend on what you want to explore and how the work develops.
You do not have to agree with everything I say.Therapy should provide a space where you can think openly, question what is being discussed and express a different perspective.If something I say does not feel right to you, that is something we can explore together. Your response to what happens in therapy can itself sometimes provide useful information about how you experience and respond to other people.
No. Therapy is not about me deciding who you are or providing a simple explanation for everything you experience.My role is to work with you to explore your experiences and develop a better understanding of yourself.I would not want to make assumptions about you based on a limited amount of information. Any understanding we develop needs to come through the therapeutic process and through getting to know you properly.
No. The aim is not to turn you into a different person.Therapy can help you understand yourself more clearly, including aspects of yourself that may be difficult or uncomfortable to recognise.With greater awareness, you may find that you have more choice in how you respond to situations and relationships. Change can come from understanding yourself differently rather than trying to become someone else.
Empower
Growth
Frequently asked questions
Couples Therapy
Yes, couples therapy involves both partners because the focus is on understanding the relationship and the patterns that have developed between you.Both people need to have an opportunity to express their experiences and perspectives. You may not see things in the same way, and that difference can itself be important to explore within therapy.On the occasions where an individual may need to leave the session it is appropriate for their partner to also leave.
No. My role is not to decide who is right or wrong or to take one person's side.Instead, I work with both partners to understand what is happening within the relationship, including the patterns that have developed between you and the contribution each person makes to those patterns.This does not mean that difficult behaviour or significant events are ignored. It means that the focus is on understanding the relationship rather than simply identifying someone to blame.
Repeated arguments are often about more than the subject being argued about.You may find yourselves having the same disagreement about money, communication, sex, parenting or something else, but underneath the argument there may be deeper feelings, expectations or fears that keep the cycle going.Couples therapy can help you understand what is happening within these recurring patterns rather than simply trying to find a better way of having the same argument.
Communication difficulties are often one of the reasons couples seek therapy.However, simply learning to communicate more effectively does not always address what is happening underneath the communication.Therapy can explore why particular conversations become difficult, how each of you responds when you feel hurt, criticised or misunderstood, and what happens between you when these patterns develop.
Yes.Emotional distance can develop gradually, and couples can find themselves living alongside each other without feeling particularly connected.Therapy can provide an opportunity to explore what has contributed to this distance and what may be making it difficult to reconnect.This may involve looking at experiences within the relationship as well as the individual feelings, expectations and patterns that each person brings to it.
Couples therapy can provide a space to explore what has happened and the impact it has had on both partners.An affair or significant breach of trust can affect the relationship in profound ways. Rebuilding trust is not simply a matter of deciding to move on, and both partners may have different experiences of what has happened.Therapy can help you explore these experiences and consider what is needed for the relationship to move forward.
Yes.Difficulties around sex and intimacy can have a significant impact on a relationship, whether they involve differences in desire, loss of intimacy, avoidance or recurring conflict.These difficulties can sometimes be connected to wider emotional or relationship patterns. Therapy provides a space to explore these issues openly and understand what may be happening between you.
Yes.Couples therapy does not have to be about keeping a relationship together at all costs.Sometimes a couple needs space to understand what has happened within the relationship, whether change is possible and what each person wants.Therapy can provide a place to explore these questions honestly, without assuming in advance what the outcome should be.
This is not unusual.It can be difficult when one person is more willing to engage than the other. Rather than assuming that both partners should arrive with the same expectations, therapy can provide an opportunity to explore this difference.Both people need to be willing to participate in the process, but they do not necessarily need to begin from the same position.
No.The purpose of couples therapy is not to make a decision for you about whether you should remain together.The aim is to understand what is happening within the relationship and give both partners an opportunity to explore their experiences, needs and hopes for the future.For some couples, this may support a decision to work on the relationship. For others, it may help them understand that separating is the right decision.
There is no fixed number of sessions that applies to every couple.Some couples may come with a particular difficulty they want to address, while others may have longstanding patterns that require more time to understand.The length of therapy will depend on the difficulties you are experiencing, what you both want to explore and how the work develops, this can be anything between 12 sessions and 5 years or more.
The first few sessions are an opportunity to understand what has brought you both to therapy and to hear each person's perspective.We may explore the history of your relationship, what has changed, the difficulties you are currently experiencing and what you would both like to be different.It is also an opportunity for you both to experience how I work and consider whether couples therapy feels like the right approach for you.
Practical Questions
Therapy LocationsI work from two therapy rooms, as well as offering sessions online.London – Golders GreenThe therapy room is located opposite Golders Green Tube Station. There are a number of stairs leading to the room, so unfortunately there is no disabled access.Milton Keynes – CentralThe therapy room is centrally located, close to the main shopping centre and transport links. There is lift access to the room, and the building has disabled access.Online TherapyI also offer therapy sessions online. For online sessions, I ask that you have access to a private and confidential space where you can speak freely and comfortably without being overheard. This means you can attend your sessions from wherever you are.
Individual and Couples TherapyBoth individual and couples therapy sessions are 50 minutes in length.In-Person SessionsFor in-person appointments, please arrive no more than 10 minutes before your scheduled session time.Online SessionsFor online appointments, a new meeting link will be sent to you shortly before your scheduled session begins.
Please see the bottom of the page for session cost.I have a limited number of low cost sessions, these are available to those on low income. The fee and payment arrangements will be confirmed when you arrange your first appointment.
If you would like to explore therapy, you can get in touch through the contact page.We can discuss in a introductory call what has brought you to therapy, what you are looking for and whether my approach is likely to be suitable for you.At the bottom of the page you can download the therapy agreement that is required before starting sessions.
Yes. An introductory call gives us an opportunity to briefly discuss what has brought you to therapy and for you to ask any initial questions.It also gives you an opportunity to get a sense of whether you feel comfortable with my approach before arranging a session.
No. You can contact me directly to enquire about therapy and arrange an initial appointment. I request the ability to contact your GP when starting therapy.
This depends on your individual circumstances and the nature of the other support you are receiving. It can be normal for couples to have their individual therapy alongside couples therapy.If you are receiving treatment from another professional, it can be useful to discuss this at the beginning of therapy so that we have a clear understanding of the wider support you have in place.
Sometimes life happens, and if you need to cancel or rearrange an appointment, I ask that you provide as much notice as possible. I will always do my best to find an alternative time that works for you.Please note that missed sessions are charged.My cancellation policy, including the circumstances in which a cancellation fee may apply, will be explained when you arrange your sessions.
You do not need to know this before making an enquiry.An initial conversation can give you an opportunity to explain what has brought you to therapy, ask questions and get a better understanding of how I work.Therapy is a personal process, so it is important that you feel comfortable with the person you are working with and that their approach fits what you are looking for.
bottom of page